i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
