If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
