yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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