Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Found your dick twin last night
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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