I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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