I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
