so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
