Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
