Pants 0. Shit 1.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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