An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
