I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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