i jhust puked up my retainher.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Let's paint friendship bongs
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
