ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
