did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
