Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize