Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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