i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
