grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
