I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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