the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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