No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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