My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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