She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
