I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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