Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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