I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
A bitchslap is in order.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
