Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
