Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
