Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
dude. I can hear the air.
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