I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
