mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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