So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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