It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it ðŸ˜
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
