i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
