I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
