He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He better not be in your backpack
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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