fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
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Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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