yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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