I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
