This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
too bad you live with your parents still
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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