I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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