Bisexual people are plain selfish.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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