I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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