Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
