that's an acceptable place to lick
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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