You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
