He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Mom said you looked used
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
