this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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