Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize