He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
