I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
This house was built for laser tag.
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remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
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he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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