I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize