I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
