guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
