I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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