My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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