I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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