dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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