shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
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i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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