have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
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