Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
